Monday, August 28, 2017

Discussion: I Watched Game Of Thrones Season 7, And I Have Thoughts

Feed Your Fiction Addiction and It Starts At Midnight host the 2017 Discussion Challenge.

The season is over, guys! I’m completely freaking out. What am I supposed to do with my life? Now I have to think about politics, or cleaning the house, or other equally horrible things.

I’ve read quite a few of these Game of Thrones wrap-ups this season. Bloggers are always so organized about them. I’m not going to be organized. I’m just going to blather at you stream-of-consciousness style. Also, I’m stealing Arya’s idea and making lists. I’m sorry about any spelling mistakes. I Googled most of the names, but in Westeros, excessive vowels seem to be in fashion. 

I'm spoiling EVERYTHING ahead. Beware. 

I Watched Game Of Thrones Season 7, And I Have Thoughts

List of people/things I’d like to see stabbed: 

  • Cersei Lannister 
  • Bran Stark 
  • Sansa Stark
  • Euron Greyjoy 
  • All zombies 
  • Daenerys Targaryen (occasionally)

Singing boy appears on dragon show. Twitter loses mind: What did you think of Ed Sheeran’s appearance on the show? It’s mildly annoying that the scene was written just for him, but it’s not annoying enough to harass Ed on Twitter. Be nice on Twitter, people! It’s enough of a cesspool without us hating each other over a TV show. 

Lady Olenna wins at death: “Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.” I had a feeling that Lady Olenna was going to die this season. She was one of my favorites, so I was sad when she got poisoned, but her deathbed (death chair?) murder confession was so good. I’m glad she got the last word.

List of people/things I’d be devastated to see stabbed: 

  • Tyrion Lannister 
  • Jon Snow 
  • Ser Davos 
  • Bronn (does he have a last name? Or is he so awesome he doesn’t need one? Like Cher?)
  • Arya Stark 
  • Sam Tarly and Gilly
  • Yara Greyjoy 
  • More animals. Leave the critters alone!

Much water. Such drama. What was up with that magic river in The Spoils of War episode? The river is shallow when the horses are galloping through it. When Jaimie and Bronn fall in the water, it’s suddenly ocean-deep. Stop drowning so dramatically, guys. It’s a puddle. 

List of people who need wicked-awesome redemption arcs in which they become the most badass heroes ever. (Stabbing them is optional): 

  • Jaimie Lannister 
  • Theon Greyjoy 
  • Jorah Mormont
  • (Occasionally) Daenerys Targaryen

A stupidly brilliant idea that literally no one except me wants to see happen: Can Ramsay Bolton please become a snow zombie? I know that he was eaten by hungry dogs, and his corpse is frozen dog poop, and zombified dog poop is (probably?) useless, but he’d be the most psychotic zombie ever! Zombie Ramsay Bolton would be my favorite character. Theon Greyjoy should kill Zombie Ramsay. Someone email this idea to the show producers. I’ll wait.

Bran’s useless superpower. Am I the only one who finds Bran Stark annoying? I’ve just never cared about his three-eyed storyline. Also, he was like, “I have to tell Jon his real name!” Shouldn’t he also tell Jon that Cersei doesn’t plan to keep her promises? Wouldn’t that be helpful information? Shouldn’t he be using his power to spy on Cersei instead of on the sex lives of dead people? (Insert joke about perverted teen boys here.)

List of moments that gave me minor heart attacks and probably shortened my lifespan by at least ten days: 

  • Finding out that the season would only have seven episodes 
  • Theon jumping overboard instead of saving his sister 
  • Drogon getting shot with the Lannister’s anti-dragon gun 
  • Jaimie and Bronn almost getting barbecued by Drogon 
  • Viserion getting killed (and then un-killed) 
  • Whenever the camera zooms out and shows a million zombies 
  • Tyrion telling Cersei to kill him
  • When Sam took credit for Gilly discovering the marriage annulment. Dude, I love you, but not cool
  • When the wall got blasted down. Tormund better have survived that because he needs to make monster babies with Brienne. I was promised monster babies!

The first three episodes were kinda boring. I know that they were building up to the epicness that was episodes 4-7, but they were still kinda boring. Cersei didn’t even seem upset that all her kids were dead. Except for the small Yara-and-Theon-related heart attack I had at the end of episode 2, everything was very meh.

Daenerys trolls Jon. One of my favorite scenes is when Jon shows Daenerys proof of the zombies in the cave. Then she ruins it with the “bend the knee” stuff. Daenerys has a one-track mind. Become queen, no matter how many awkward moments it creates. 

List of moments that made me happy: 

  • All the family reunions 
  • Those annoying Sand Snake girls finally dying 
  • Any scene with Sam in it 
  • Jon petting Drogon 
  • When the Hound threw a rock at a zombie. (I don’t know why he did it. For lolz, I guess? That island looked pretty boring. He had to liven things up.)
  • Theon talking to Jon and deciding not to be a coward (finally!)
  • Sansa and Arya teaming up to kill Littlefinger
  • Jaimie and Cersei not agreeing about the zombie threat. (Please stab her, Jaimie!)

Jon Snow shows off his self-control (and makes me feel like a horrible person). When Jon reunites with Theon on the beach, he doesn’t punch Theon in the face. I was impressed. I would’ve knocked Theon’s teeth out for all the crap he put the Starks through.

#TeamArya vs #TeamSansa: Who would make a better Lady of Winterfell? I’m on Team Arya because I don’t always trust Sansa’s decisions, but I was so happy when they teamed up to kill Littlefinger. He’s finally gone! Yes! Yes! Yes!

List of game-changing moments: 

  • Sam curing Jorah and then going North 
  • Daenerys barbecuing everyone 
  • Gilly being semi-ignored by Sam while she says important stuff 
  • The Night King zombifing Viserion 
  • Jon Snow “bending the knee”
  • The wall falling

Epic line: “I read the book and followed the directions.” – Sam on how he cured Jorah. Proof that bookworms will save the world.

Losing the plot: The thing that irritates me about this season is how plotlines would start and then vanish for several episodes. Like, what’s happening with Ellaria Sand and Tyene in Cersei’s dungeon? What is Greyworm doing with his stranded, starving army? Does anyone care that Sam stole books from that fancy library? (I hope he has money to pay the library fines.) And, more importantly, WHERE ARE THEON AND YARA?! Sorry for the shouty-caps, but I can’t handle any of my favorite characters disappearing for so long when THE CHANCES OF DEATH ARE SO HIGH! Theon was with Daenerys, and Yara got captured by Euron, and then I had to wait weeks to see what they were doing! Not cool, TV show.

List of reasons I’d never be invited on a zombie-hunting mission: 

  • I moan when I’m forced to get off the couch 
  • Snowsuits make me look chubby(er) 
  • No Wi-Fi in the North 
  • I shrivel up and die without a constant supply of Mexican food 
  • Jon Snow probably wouldn’t let me fill their supply sled with books 
  • I ask uncomfortable questions 
  • Zombie polar bears? Aw, hell no! Not dealing with that!

Dragons and zombies make everything better. Whoever creates all those computerized critters is amazing at their job. The dragons and zombies looked epic this season.

List of characters who need more scenes together: 

  • Jon Snow and Ser Davos 
  • Jaimie Lannister and Bronn No-Last-Name-Needed 
  • Tyrion Lannister and Lord Varys 
  • Tyrion Lannister and Jaimie Lannister
  • Can we just have more Tyrion, please? 
  • Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont
  • Cersei Lannister and whoever kills her. (I'm hoping Jaimie kills her.)

Death by stupidity: Whenever Jon almost gets killed by zombies, someone shows up to save him. Daenerys barbecues the zombies and airlifts Jon’s friends out of the battle. Jon’s uncle saves him when he’s too stupid to get on the freakin’ dragon. I want to see him spend less time brooding dramatically and more time saving himself. C’mon, dude! I know you’re adorable when you brood, but you make some terrible life choices.

Get in the truck, Jon!

List of infuriating questions that must be answered about the Battle Beyond the Wall: 

  • Where did the zombies get those giant chains they used to dredge up the dragon corpse? 
  • If zombies can't swim, how did they get the chains on the dragon? 
  • Why didn’t Jon have dragonglass when he was fighting the zombies? Didn't he spend pretty much the whole season mining dragonglass so he could kill zombies? Where is the dragonglass, Jon? 
  • Why didn’t Jon just get on the freakin’ dragon and get airlifted out with everybody else?

I’m scared of the books: I have book 1 of the series sitting on my TBR shelf right now. I’m terrified to read it because what happens if I love it? I have very little faith that the author will finish the series. Reading an incomplete series is frustrating. I guess there's always a chance that I'll hate it. Then I won't continue with the series, and none of this will matter. What should I do, guys?

The award for “Most Awkward Sexy Times” goes to . . . Was anyone else cringing really hard at the Jon/Daenerys sex scene? They’re gettin’ it on, and Bran’s narrating how they are related, and Tyrion’s creeping weirdly in the hallway. I know that being family has never put a damper on the characters’ hormones before, but . . . dude . . . that’s nasty. I wonder how they’ll react when they find out that they’re related. Drama is coming!

List of important life lessons I learned from Season 7: 

  • Don’t throw rocks at the undead
  • Compare family trees before sexy times
  • Walls won't stop illegal zombie immigration

Let’s discuss: What did you think of season 7?


  1. I am SO behind the rest of the world when it comes to this series. I really need to do a serious binge. I didn't read most of this because I didn't want to spoil it for myself, but I'm bookmarking it for when I have the time to catch up.

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

  2. Great post!!

    I can't wait till 2019! Everyone must reject every acting role they are offered and concentrate on Thrones. I need it to be 2018!

    I'm hoping Bran becomes useful now that he can see all sorts of things- I have read quite a lot of theories about him, and it looks like he could be a crucial character in S8!

    1. I really hope that Bran becomes useful in the next season. Right now, he’s just kinda . . . there.

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  3. Every week I saw to my husband, "I think we're the only people on the planet not watching this show." But I've read the books and he is constantly reading stuff about the show on the internet, so it's not like we're completely out of the loop! At this point, the show has gone past the books, so I'm not really sure what to think!

    1. I think you should watch it. I haven’t read the books, but I own the first one. I’ve been putting off reading it because it’s huge and scary.

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  4. Hum... I think Sansa would be a better Lady than Arya. I mean, the girl basically told Sansa to behead those who complained about Jon. That's not Lady-like at all.
    I don't know why you think Bran's annoying ! He's my favorite character :o

    1. You’re right. Sansa is much more ladylike than Arya. I think Bran gets on my nerves because he doesn’t have a personality. Everything is about his power, and his power isn’t very useful right now.

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  5. Awesome. Love this post. As far as stabbing Cersei, all I can say is it is hilarious reading from her POV (although we don't get her POV til book 4). Lmao over the Marianas Trench. No doubt. We clearly need more Yara. And that Theon pic. Weren't they subtle how they reminded the audience of his, um, injury??!? Bran is SO annoying (and useless so far)?

    Oh my gosh I never saw the truck! That is freakin hilarious. Million dollar budgets and it's still the little things. :)

    And where did Melisandre go???

    1. Yes, where is Melisandre? And I was really disappointed that we didn’t see Yara at all during the final episode. Where is she?!

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  6. What a great season 7 post!! I loved Lady Olenna and glad she went out in style. Bran is so annoying. He thinks he knows everything but dude you don't and you could be so much more helpful. I was so happy Sansa and Arya teamed up. I cheered when they killed Littlefinger. It was so time for him to go. Jon totally makes awful choices. Love your last three things there. I am so excited for next season even though it is like forever away!

    1. Yes! Littlefinger is finally dead! I’ve been waiting so long for that to happen. I’m glad Sansa and Arya teamed up to do it.

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  7. I completely agree with the trench! It really did bend reality a fair bit but darn the episode was good so I forgive it! You kind of want Bran to just search his memory banks and find the answer in seconds like some sort of fantasy gioogle with two legs! Seven episodes were not enough as the fringe characters hardly got any decent scenes-like Yara who is rotting away somewhere and Ellaria in the dungeons just like forgotten Edmure! I did laugh at the truck-beyond-the-wall! I'll be doing my review post next week. Love your captioned pics-where do you get them/how do you make them? I need more of them in my sad little life!

    1. I spend way too much of my life searching the Internet for GoT memes. There’s a Twitter account called “Game of Thrones Meme” that posts a lot of funny pictures. I also rely a lot on Google Images. I google things like “funny game of thrones season 7 meme” and then scroll FOREVER until I find things I like.

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  8. I feel like I am really missing out. I need to get caught up with the series before the next season starts.

  9. I love this post! The finale was SO GOOD but omg how am I going to wait until possibly 2019 for the resolution?? I also cannot stand Bran and wish he'd just die in a fire, tbh. He drives me crazy with his "I am the three-eyed raven" crap. Sam's response to that was absolutely perfect! I also really want Theon to get redemption. He tried SO HARD in the finale and I can't wait to see what happens with his character next season! Have you read the theory about the Night King?

    Tracy @ Cornerfolds

    1. I’ve read the theory that Bran is the Night King. If that’s true, it would be awesome because then Jon could kill Bran. No more Bran and no more Night King. Win-win.

      Aj @ Read All The Things!

  10. oh my god, I died laughing. Get in the ruck Jon XD I was asking my husband the same thing yesterday like.. why is he always brooding. Oh but he died and now he is desperate cause the dead are coming. I want the old confident Jon back, that was hot. Lol I was like omg he boinked his Aunt - yeah if he ever finds out I think he will be super freaked by it and than he will be like oh but I got her preggo so she is now my wife...oops.. possible? I think so.. All these talks about not being able to have kids, you can just FEEL it coming can't you?

  11. oh and the water thing, I think my husband explained that they were thrown a bit far from the impact and that apparently it was indeed possible *still not convinced*

  12. I'm seriously freaking out too that it might be 2019 before the next series! I can't wait that long! And why is it going to take so much longer when it's going to be another short series? :(
    But yes, this season was amazing! There was so much happening! :)
    But yes, Bran's superpower is definitely a bit useless. He seemed to be able to see the things he needed to be able to see for the plot, but not other stuff that would have been super useful to know. Like when Sam tells him that actually Jon Snow isn't a bastard and he looks back and is like, 'oh yeah!' Well couldn't he have taken a peek back at Lyanna Stark and Rheagar Targaryen's relationship beforehand?
    And yeah, the awkward sexy times award definitely goes to Daenerys and Jon Snow, and I really don't know what to make of the weird Tyrion standing in the hallway thing.
    But overall, I definitely enjoyed this season too, and I'm glad you did! :)

  13. I came in here and read the whole post in a few minutes because I can't get enough of GoT. Yes. But at the same time, this season left me speachless. Not to mention the waiting for the next and final season. OH, THE FEELS! I'll just say... I agree with many of your thoughts, and please, please, I need more Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont scenes, P-L-E-A-S-E. And God help me if they kill Jorah... No, no, no. Great analysis, lovely!

  14. I loved all the Jon-was-dead-but-maybe-we-don't-tell-Daenerys-that stuff. Like, 'Did he say he took a dagger to the heart?' 'It's very boring in the North.'

    Plus Jon's face at Ser Davos when he said that was like, 'DUDE, we want to DOWNplay the weird stuff, I'm already trying to sell snow-zombies, resurrection ain't gonna help!' Lol ;)

  15. Yes more Tyrion!!!

    Cersei Lannister needs to die and I'm with you. I'm hoping Jaimie kills her too. I think it would so fitting for him to kill her. Not only because of what's between them but then he could be called Queenslayer too.