1. What even happened last month? What day is it? I spent most of November, all of December, and almost all of January working on a massive work project. I got no holidays, no weekends, just work eight hours a day, every day. I turned in the project at the end of January and felt so proud of myself! Then the project was promptly rejected and sent back to me. Guess what I get to spend the next few months redoing? Yeah. Go me. Winning at life. Thank the deity of your choice that antidepressants exist. I’m going to need buckets of them.
2. At least nothing started on fire in January! That’s actually a big improvement over December.
3. Also, I think I saw Sasquatch. Or maybe it was a furry tree. Or maybe I was freezing to death. These things are confusing. January was so cold, guys! I tried to go jogging at least 3 times a week, even if I had to jog in snow. One day while I was running, I saw something big and brown moving through the trees near my path. It was so freakin’ cold outside that I didn’t stop to check if I’d accidentally discovered Sasquatch or something.
(Random tangent: I saw a commercial for a place that claims it can freeze the fat off your body. I’m skeptical. I spent a month running in below-freezing temperatures. I’m still fat.)
4. I’m trying really hard at #bookstagram. Am I one of the cool kids yet? Probably not. I’m still learning how to take photos that aren’t blurry. I am mildly obsessed with looking at everybody else’s photos and clicking the ❤ button. You guys are ridiculously talented. I’m envious.
5. A lot of you read my 2017 Reading Stats post (thank you) and asked about how I track my reading. In 2018, I’m using the spreadsheet made by Sophie @ Portal in the Pages. It’s free to download, and she explains how to use it here.
Cait @ Paper Fury sometimes posts the amusing Google searches that led people to her blog. Today, I’m stealing her idea. The searches that bring people to Read All The Things! aren’t nearly as hilarious as the ones that bring people to Paper Fury, but I have gotten some strange searches recently. Here are a few unfortunate souls who probably didn’t find what they were Googling for.
“Mr. Fox Band-Aids.” I hope this is referring to Fantastic Mr. Fox and not just some dude named Mr. Fox. That would be peculiar.
“What problem does Connor face in Unwind?” This sounds like a homework question. Connor’s problem is that you didn’t do your assigned reading.
“A life had been ruined. What was it?” Is the answer “my life”? Is this a Jeopardy question?
“Well that escalated quickly book.” I know! I went to Walmart to get dog treats and accidentally walked past the book aisle. Suddenly my basket was full of books. When it comes to books, things always escalate quickly. We just have to accept it.
“I can’t change where I come from or where I’ve been.” I think I shouted this exact phrase as I ran away from the book aisle at Walmart.
“What Happened to Lani Garver resolution.” Another homework question? You can easily find the answer by reading the last few pages of What Happened to Lani Garver.
“du an thanh ha a.” Either someone died on the keyboard, or this isn’t English. Google suggested this translation:
Books I Read in January
The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night – Jen Campbell
Ararat – Christopher Golden
This Monstrous Thing – Mackenzi Lee
How to Survive a Summer – Nick White (DNF)
The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories – Ken Liu
The Dumb House – John Burnside
The Last One – Alexandra Oliva
Lungs Full of Noise – Tessa Mellas
1. This Monstrous Thing – Mackenzi Lee
3. The Dumb House – John Burnside
Most-Viewed January Non-Reviews
All The Things!
Distance I’ve sloppily jogged so far in 2018: 24 miles (38.6k)
Number of unread books on my TBR shelf = 61 books