Discussion: A Brief List Of Oddities Discovered In The Comments Section

If you run a website, then you know that the comment section occasionally gets . . . odd. Part of my job as a blogger is to sift through the comments and delete anything that’s off-topic or blatantly advertising stupid garbage. Today, I’m going to share a few of the odd comments I’ve come across during my sifting. I’m [redacting] some parts of the comments because I don’t want to promote garbage. I want to laugh at garbage.

(While you’re here: If you like strange blog comments, check out Feed Your Fiction Addiction’s Fun With Spam. I may have stolen this post idea from Nicole. If you like lists of hilarious oddities, check out what’s inside used books, and what’s inside in my email account.)

I'm linking this post up with the 2018 Discussion Challenge, which is hosted by Feed Your Fiction Addiction & It Starts At Midnight.

A Brief List Of Oddities Discovered In The Comments Section

“Your info is quite helpful to forever.”

This is my main goal as a blogger. I want my info to be helpful to forever. It's good to know that I'm succeeding.

“Usually, I never comment on blogs but your article is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it you’re doing a great job Man.”

Protip for spammers: You can’t say that you “never comment on blogs” and then copy/paste this same comment on 50 of my posts. You are a liar, sir. You comment on blogs way too frequently. I suggest calming down. Back away from the keyboard. Take a walk.

“Wow, what amazing information you will share. I think this website is not in English people found it difficult to understand. So people can read this guide for better understanding: [Redacted website that promises to correct my terrible English.]”

I know that I occasionally invent words, but my English isn’t that bad, is it? I’m trying my best! Blame the American public school system for my language failures.

I get a lot of comments that subtly insult my blog and then offer to fix it. I wonder if this marketing strategy actually works.

“I went into this with low expectations. Honestly, an entire film about adults playing the game of tag? [. . .] I will probably buy this on bluray so I can catch up with what I missed. [Redacted links to websites with pirated films.]”

Honestly, coming to my blog with low expectations is probably a smart decision . . . .

Is there actually a movie about adults playing tag? If there is, I never want to watch it. It sounds terrible.

“Wow is good to be back with my ex again, thank you Dr. [name redacted] for the help, I just want to let you know that is reading this post in case you are having issues with your lover and is leading to divorce and you don’t want the divorce, Dr. [name redacted] is the answer to your problem. Or you are already divorce and you still want him/her contact Dr. [name redacted] the spell caster. [Redacted phone numbers.]”

Um . . . no. Exes are exes for a reason. Magically conjuring exes back into my life is the absolute last thing I need. Nope, no, no thanks. I’m staying far away from this witchy love doctor.

“Good news to everyone, my name is [redacted], from Australia, this is how I became a vampire, I always have pains in me and sick all the time, I came across a friend who introduced me how to be one of them, when she gave me this email addresses, I contacted them, ever since now my life is full of joy, I don’t longer have pains in me again, I have lived for 210 years now, I become a vampire whenever I feel like. [Redacted the surprisingly long list of people you have to email to become a vampire. Who knew that vampirism required so much electronic paperwork?]”

Okay. I’m glad you “don’t longer have pains in” you, but I never saw being a vampire as a desirable thing. Don’t vampires murder people? And don’t vampires burn to ashes in the Australian sunlight? Those seem like significant downsides to vampirism. Also, the smell of blood makes me gag. I think I’ll hold off on becoming a vampire for now. Thanks anyway.

Have you gotten any weird comments on your website?