The Hogwarts Tag

Like pretty much everyone else on Earth, I love Harry Potter, so this tag is perfect for me.

Am I a pureblood, half-blood, or Muggle born?

Probably a half-blood, but my older family members pretend to be pureblood because #status. Also, there’s less of a chance of dying if you’re pureblood. Not dying in a wizarding war would be optimal.

Which wand chose me?

Cedar, unicorn hair, 14 inches, reasonably supple. (My wand is bigger than your wand.)

Did I take an owl, cat, rat, or toad with me?

Can I have a thestral? If not, than an owl. Owls seem to be the most useful, don’t they? Owls deliver mail. What do the other animals do?

Where did the sorting hat put me?

What house did I want to be in?

I’m cool with being a Ravenclaw. I like all the houses, so I don’t have a preference.

What lessons are my favorite and least favorite?

My favorites are probably defense against the dark arts, herbology, and care of magical creatures. My least favorites . . . which ones make me do math? Potions and astronomy sound like they might involve math. I’d rather jump off the Astronomy Tower than take a math class.

The form my patronus takes?

Nacho platter. I operate under the assumption that everybody loves nachos, even dementors. If they saw the nachos, they’d go for the platter and lose interest in my soul.

According to the official test, my patronus is a marsh harrier. I had to Google that. Turns out, it’s a swamp hawk that lives everywhere except the Americas. You learn something new every day, right?

What does a boggart look like for me?

Crippling depression? Irredeemable failure? Complete humiliation? Incurable deadly disease? If those are too abstract, then it’s probably a dead family member or a bug. I freakin’ hate bugs.

Do I partake in any magical hobbies or school sports?

No. In school, I was a loner. Everybody loved sports, and partying, and clubbing. I was just . . . no.

Where would I find myself hanging in my free time?

Where does Hagrid keep the magical creatures? I’d be hanging out with them, probably cuddling Fluffy. Or exploring the castle grounds. Or in the greenhouses.

What would I most likely get detention for?

Wandering into the Forbidden Forest. You can’t call something a Forbidden Forest and not expect me to get curious. If you called it Giant Spider Forest, I’d stay away. This proves that places shouldn’t have vague names.

What career do I want after leaving Hogwarts?

Does Hogwarts need a writing professor? I’m qualified. I could email over my CV right now.

Working in the Department of Mysteries would be awesome, but I’m not good at keeping secrets. I think I’d like to search for new species of magical plants and animals.

Do you want to do this tag? Consider yourself tagged.