|Apple & wasp tree. I ran for my life after snapping this picture.|
|Cherry and apple trees from my bathroom window.|
1. Aj answers the hard questions. May rewarded us with the Royal Wedding. I briefly considered waking up early to watch it, but that didn’t happen. I value sleep too much. When I did finally drag my lazy ass out of bed, I got online and tried to find the answer to the single most important question about every wedding ever. What flavor was the cake? Luckily, I was able to uncover the secret. Feel free to thank me for my heroic efforts in journalism.
2. The Internet is frustrating. It was especially frustrating in May. I know that we’re all sick of talking about GDPR, but I’m envisioning a dystopian future where I spend 90% of my day clicking and unclicking tiny little checkboxes.
Speaking of the Internet, I have plans for it! My Instagram account has been badly neglected, so my goal for June is to update it at least once a day. Head over there if you want to see my . . . um . . . typo-riddled creations. (I was going to call them “art,” but that’s a strong word.)
|A small glimpse of what you're missing.|
3. There’s a dead body in this story. Fair warning. Have you ever had one of those moments where you think, Is this really happening right now? In April, my mom had surgery on her hip and my dog, Cheyenne, got diagnosed with cancer. On May 10, Cheyenne died. She died on my lap at home at 6:30 in the morning. Then I had to wait until 7 for the vet to open so I could drop her off to be cremated.
If you’ve never been around a recently dead creature, there are a few things you should know:
- Dying involves shockingly large amounts of fluids exiting the body. Everything gets gross and slippery.
- Dead things are floppy and much harder to carry than live things.
- It’s impossible to carry anything when you’re completely losing your mind and freaking out because your dog is dead.
Basically, I couldn’t lift my dead dog and carry her to the car. So . . . this was a problem. My mom was home with me, but she couldn’t help because she was on crutches and not allowed to bend or lift. So . . . that was another problem. We solved the problem by wrapping Cheyenne in sheets so that I could drag her to the car.
While I was struggling to get the dog into the trunk, I noticed my neighbor watching us from across the street. From his perspective, it probably looked like I’d committed a murder and was trying to dispose of the evidence. I remember thinking, Dude, I could really use your help right now, but please don’t make me explain why my crippled mother and I are trying to get a body into the trunk.
My mom and I got the dog to the vet on our own, but that day was full of Is this real life? moments.
On a related topic: I really miss my dog, guys.
|I took this picture two days before she died. She has staples in her head and a bandage on her leg from the cancer surgery.|
Cait @ Paper Fury sometimes posts the amusing Google searches that led people to her blog. Today, I’m stealing her idea. Here are some unfortunate souls who ended up on Read All The Things! instead of finding what they were Googling for.
“too preachy novels.” YES! We should form a committee to stop these from existing. Great idea, Googler.
“First time she met Ted.” If “she” is anything like me, then it was awkward. Very, very awkward.
Books I Read
In May, I read 11 books.
The Whipping Boy – Sid Fleischman
Jacob Have I Loved – Katherine Paterson
The Elephant Vanishes – Haruki Murakami
Out of the Dust – Karen Hesse
Dear Mr. Henshaw – Beverly Cleary
Britt-Marie was Here – Fredrik Backman
Blood Red, Snow White – Marcus Sedgwick
Best Books Of May
3. Britt-Marie was Here – Fredrik Backman
Most-Viewed May Reviews
Most-Viewed May Non-Reviews
Posts I Wish got more views
1. Review: Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman. This series is so good. If you like sci-fi or dystopias, you should read it.
What we need to talk about in June
I’m trying this new thing. It’s called “planning ahead.” I know, it’s revolutionary, right? Here’s a brief list of things we need to talk about in June.
- All the new books I’ve acquired.
- A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay.
- Grief is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter.
- Bizarre and hilarious emails I’ve gotten.
- Strange things that authors really need to write about. (Pay attention, authors.)
- What I’m reading this summer.
- Britt-Marie was Here and A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
- Lots and lots of Newbery winners.
- How are we almost halfway through the year? Why have I not accomplished anything?
All The Things!
Distance I’ve sloppily jogged so far in 2018 = 109 miles (175k)
Number of unread books on my TBR shelf = 62 books
I’m currently reading = A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin and A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman.
What did you do in May?