In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm going to make a confession: I'm romance curious. Usually, I avoid romance novels like the plague STDs, but I can't help being curious about them. Romance is the highest selling book genre. I know lots of readers who only read romance. I want to know what inspires that kind of dedication.
Romance is a difficult genre for me because I'm dead inside. A book probably isn't going to hook me by provoking emotion. So, what would make me enjoy a romance? Let's figure that out together.
What I (An Emotionally Stunted Zombie) Need In A Romance Novel
It's more than just a love story. I'm not interested in the love lives of fictional people. Or real people. I'm not even interested in my own love life. If a romance is going to hold my attention, it better have an awesome non-romantic subplot.
Magic. Magic is a pretty awesome non-romantic subplot. I think I like cozy fantasy because it gives me something to think about besides fictional people lusting over each other. The fictional people are lusting 🪄magically.
Maybe the characters aren't perfect at romance. If a sexy man was flirting with me at a bar, there's a high chance I'd be zoned out and wondering if the bar serves nachos. Listening to sexy men is not one of my strengths. I have character flaws, okay? I'm working on them. I also have priorities. Nachos before boys. (Nachos before muchachos?) What if romance book characters occasionally get distracted from romance?
Make it funny. Because love isn't serious all the time.
No awkwardly placed sex scenes. Once upon a time, I read a romantic thriller book I got for free. An Evil Dude murdered the female main character's sister. The main character and her boyfriend escaped from Evil Dude and ran into the woods. After pages of running and narrowly escaping Evil Dude, the couple finds an abandoned cabin. Then they have sex.Um. Maybe now is not the time? Evil Dude is still hunting you!
This couple deserves to be on a podcast about history's most awkward crime scenes.
No abuse, please. I'm probably reading a romance because I want to escape from the horrors. I don't want to see the horrors romanticized.
Actually, can we just skip the third act breakup? It's a romance. We know the characters are going to be together in the end. Can we insert something more interesting than a breakup in the third act? Maybe some 🪄magic?
Less focus on the human body because I'm getting uncomfortable. Some authors put a lot of creativity into describing body parts. Other authors describe the same body part over, and over, and over. I understand that the characters are lusting, but I feel like a voyeur in this situation, and I hate it.
Do you have any romance recommendations for emotionally stunted zombies?
I love this post, and I’m the same way with romance. Ha!
ReplyDeletehilarious. Even the word romance makes me run away. I get so many emails from publishers offering me galleys. If they knew that placing the word romance in the first line is not going to work....
ReplyDeleteI went with red covers, but no romance there, promised: https://wordsandpeace.com/2026/02/10/top-ten-red-covers-for-valentine/
Have you read any urban fantasy? Lots of Magic, thrills, and then romance, and the heroines are generally sarcastic. My recommendation would be Kim Harrison’s Hollow series which starts with Dead Witch Walking,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your #TTT
100% agreed!
ReplyDeleteFun post! The nice thing about the romance genre is that there are so many varieties that there's bound to be something for just about anyone. I like my romances on the light and upbeat side, not that there can't be stakes too, but I mainly turn to romance books as a break from the real world and/or heavier reads. I personally can't stand the "body parts" element of a lot of romances -- I much prefer to have the sex scenes implied rather than described in graphic detail! And I agree about the third act breakups that seem to serve no purpose -- some plots manage to provide credible reasons, but far too many make this about miscommunication, which drives me batty.
ReplyDeleteI'm sold on Nachos Over Muchachos! 😂 While I don't mind steamy scenes in my romances, I do find it incredibly irritating (enough so that it makes me wanna chuck my book across the room) when authors write in very awkwardly placed sex scenes. Like, do they NEED to be having sex in the middle of a battle? I definitely don't think so! 🤡
ReplyDeleteI like romance novels, but I prefer them to have some depth and for sure some humor. I don't read books that have sex scenes in them, and I can't stand when the characters are all about the others looks. Not everyone is a god or goddess, so quite describing characters like that.
ReplyDeleteWhile I enjoy reading romance, I prefer there's more to the story than just that. I love seeing character development and growth. I've read a couple of books this year that are advertised as romance, but the main characters also find time to learn who they want to be going forward and maybe fall in love with someone along the way. Does that make any sense?
ReplyDeleteHere's my TTT: https://readbakecreate.com/favorite-romances-read-in-2025/
Ha ha ha. This post made me laugh! Thanks for that ;) I'm also not a romance reader. I'm fine with it as a subplot, but not as a main plot. I need more of a story to keep me interested.
ReplyDeleteHappy TTT!
I love(d) the romance genre, I read 100's a year but I just can't anymore and I have no idea why. I just roll my eyes or can't get invested. SO weird! lol
ReplyDeleteI agree with another commenter though - I would try Urban Fantasy if you want to dabble in romance. It's much morce focused on the world building/plot with just a touch of romance = that usually builds over several books.
Great post! I used to love reading romances. That was my #1 genre. Over the years it changed to thrillers and mysteries. I need more of a story than just two people falling in love.
ReplyDelete“Nachos before muchachos!” 😂😂😂 I love it! I’m not a fan of romance. If a romance happens to occur in a mystery or sci-fi as a subplot, I’ll probably be okay with it, but not as the main plot. And definitely not when running from Evil Dude.
ReplyDeleteI do not think you're an emotionally stunted zombie at all! I think your requirements are quite reasonable, tbh. I hate it when the MCs are running away from danger and think this is the time to have sex, I also hate romanticizing abuse, there are "bully romance" out there or something(?) and I can't get into any of them.
ReplyDeleteI do hate third act breakups! I think some of KJ Charles' books might work for you... I kinda thought about the Will Darling books, because if they have sex at weird times (and IIRC they do) they know how daft it is as they do it; Charles' writing is pretty aware like that. And Kim is such a messed up weasel of a guy, but he's trying. (He's very trying.) There's a whole conspiracy plot that the two try to figure out and extricate themselves from, through the trilogy.
ReplyDeleteCharles does do some third act breakups, but they make a fundamental sort of sense, rather than feeling pasted in.
I read a lot of romances and love them but I think your points are all valid, haha. There are times when it is DEFINITELY not the time to be getting busy in a book, haha. And I do tire of the 3rd act break up too, there's a few authors now who are skipping those!
ReplyDeleteI am going to go different from most of the posts here and say I have really come to love a good contemporary romance. I like knowing a happy ending is coming after whatever trope the story has utilized. A recent favorite is Meet Me Under the Northern Lights by Maggie Baggot. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed your very creative post. I do love a good romance, I can do without all the sexy parts and I like a lot of what you want in a romance. I hope you one day find one book you really enjoy in the genre!
ReplyDeleteUgh, the third act breakup is one of my biggest pet peeves! I definitely think you can find some romances that will satisfy your requirements, though!
ReplyDeleteI hate third act breakups, but I am an outside the norm romance reader. I also like low drama, and YES! Make it funny! I love to laugh. It's good for the soul. I would say that most of the books have non-romantic subplots.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading what you like in romance novels that keeps you reading. Got to admit, I also love magic thrown in. I like exploring these elements a lot. I think that's why I am drawn to cozy fantasy books at the moment.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post to read on Valentine's Day. I love your humor. I do have a recommendation which comes from one who tends not to read romance... It's Edward Abbey's only "chick lit" book, Dark Sun. It's about a ranger and a younger woman. With you being a ranger and in the American West, you should know Abbey. BTW, my favorite Abbey book is "A Fool's Progress," which is kind of anti-romance as it begins with a marriage breakup.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean to post as "Anonymous," but the above is from me... :)
DeleteHa YES. More magic, less lust in the romance genre, please.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post, Aj. I can't stand perfect romantic characters either. "In the St. Nick of Time" by K.M. Daughters is the final book in their romantic suspense Sullivan Boys series, and it focuses on the youngest sibling who is a woman. She is a widowed mom of four, who ends up in a relationship, navigating the uncomfortable feelings that come with it.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy finding the romance that works for you.
This is a great list, I agree with all of them.
ReplyDelete