I'm Not Dead. I Just Feel Like I Am.

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Hello. Remember me? It's been a while since we last spoke. I didn't mean to vanish from the internet. I simply became too overwhelmed to function. I'm sure you understand. You probably didn't notice I was gone, but that's okay because this is a narcissism post! We all get to suffer though hearing about my life. I see the excitement shining in your eyes.

Also, Thanksgiving is coming. Let's be positivity queens and discuss what we're thankful for.

🍗  I'm Thankful For . . .  🦃

1. I'm thankful for Halloween

I went trick-or-treating with Baby Brooklyn. She dressed up as Tails from Sonic The Hedgehog and got a pillowcase full of candy. She got so much candy that I took most of it to work and redistributed her wealth. She didn't even notice! She still has so much left! No five-year-old needs more sugar than they can comprehend.

I somehow failed to take a photo of Brooklyn in her costume. This oversight is made more humiliating by the fact that I took several photos of a random man riding a motorcycle while wearing a Patrick costume. Just pretend this is Brooklyn. They grow up so fast.

2. I'm thankful for the ambulance people

I'm nearly done with EMT school. Honestly, I'm not sure what to say about it. It feels like a six-month-long panic attack, and I want it to be over. I have a massive amount of respect for people who work on ambulances. I did my clinical hours on ambulances and hated every second of the experience. It's hard to take care of sick people while you're being flung all over the back of a moving vehicle. I don't know how anyone does it. I'm thankful for Dramamine. I was popping those things like Skittles.

All of my finals are happening during the first 10 days of December. I am stress.

3. I'm thankful I'm nearly free

December 1st is the last day of my work season. Park rangers are like reverse teachers. Instead of getting the summer off, we get the snowy months off because most of the park becomes inaccessible. There's too much snow! I'm thankful for snow. I'm beyond excited to not wake up at 3AM and go to work.

I might be spending my last day cleaning up trash and dog poop in the park. I'm not mad. There are worse jobs. (I'm looking at you, ambulances.)

4. I'm thankful for Advil

I injured my shoulder, but I don't know how. Does that mean I'm old? My job requires me to lift heavy objects. School requires me to lift heavy people. Ambulances are a unique form of torture. I'm not a good EMT, and there are a million ways I could have hurt myself, so we'll need Scooby Doo to solve this mystery.

I didn't realize that shoulders are so important. It's hard to use my arm because my shoulder is stuck and barely moves. I can't sleep because I keep accidentally rolling on the painful bits. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to move my neck. It hurts to sit in a chair and type.

I don't know. This bitch better heal herself quickly because we lost our health insurance. I'm not about to pull out a credit card to fix this nonsense. Save me, Advil! I'm relying on you.

5. I'm thankful for everyone who will help me survive the reign of Mango Mussolini

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Donald Trump happened. Again. Since I am trapped inside the Fox News Cinematic Universe, I was slightly rattled but not surprised. Everyone in my part of the world is truly, madly, deeply in love with Donald. It's a completely baffling cult.

I feel like Trump gives people permission to be the worst versions of themselves, which is a problem when you work with the public. I (mostly) enjoy my park job because parks are good for my community. I'm going to EMT school because health care is good for my community. I donate stuff to schools and food banks because they're good for my community.

Unfortunately, my community is disappointing. They're vocal about their hatred of "the left," immigrants, transgender people, poor people, teachers, scientists, and anyone who is skeptical about their preferred flavor of Christianity.

Sometimes I have a pity party and wonder why I'm giving so much to people who hate me. It feels like I'm allowing myself to be used.

Then I refocus and get back to work. We have problems to solve.

6. I'm thankful for books

Almost all of my reading time has been devoured by EMT textbooks. I badly want to read something that I don't have to memorize. I keep staring longingly at my TBR shelf. I miss my books! I have so many good ones waiting for me. I'm stoked for my winter reading plans.

I did finish War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I've been reading it slowly since the beginning of the year. Maybe I read it too slowly? Or maybe I'm not in the right headspace. I found it extremely tedious. I felt every one of those 1,296 pages.

7. I'm thankful for Pinterest and affiliate links

My financial situation is . . . not ideal right now. I'm making tuition payments every month, and I had to drastically reduce my work hours to make school happen. It has been difficult. I'm not going to lie.

Affiliate links haven't fixed the situation, but they do make it slightly less stressful. I don't remember how much I've talked about affiliate links. Basically, if you click the links on this blog and buy something, then I earn a commission. The things you buy are not more expensive for you. I just make a few pennies from the sale. Literally, it's pennies per sale.

Those pennies have saved me multiple times. I'm extremely grateful to anyone who uses my links or re-pins my pins on Pinterest. (Most of this blog's traffic comes from Pinterest.) You'll never understand how much you've helped me.

8. I'm thankful for future plans

I'm researching how to start a new blog. I've had this one for over ten years and am feeling creatively stifled by Blogger. I'm open to suggestions for how to start over. How are people starting blogs in 2025? Who even does that?

9. I'm thankful for you

Thanks for reading this. It feels great to be blogging again, even if I'm just whining about life and not talking about books.

Where are the book bloggers hanging out nowadays? Threads? Bluesky? I'm not on either of those, but I'll try anything once. Tell me what you're using so I can follow you.

What are you thankful for?