Tuesday, November 26, 2024

I'm Not Dead. I Just Feel Like I Am.

This post contains affiliate links. I earn a commission from qualifying purchases.


Hello. Remember me? It's been a while since we last spoke. I didn't mean to vanish from the internet. I simply became too overwhelmed to function. I'm sure you understand. You probably didn't notice I was gone, but that's okay because this is a narcissism post! We all get to suffer though hearing about my life. I see the excitement shining in your eyes.

Also, Thanksgiving is coming. Let's be positivity queens and discuss what we're thankful for.




🍗  I'm Thankful For . . .  🦃





1. I'm thankful for Halloween



I went trick-or-treating with Baby Brooklyn. She dressed up as Tails from Sonic The Hedgehog and got a pillowcase full of candy. She got so much candy that I took most of it to work and redistributed her wealth. She didn't even notice! She still has so much left! No five-year-old needs more sugar than they can comprehend.

I somehow failed to take a photo of Brooklyn in her costume. This oversight is made more humiliating by the fact that I took several photos of a random man riding a motorcycle while wearing a Patrick costume. Just pretend this is Brooklyn. They grow up so fast.








2. I'm thankful for the ambulance people



I'm nearly done with EMT school. Honestly, I'm not sure what to say about it. It feels like a six-month-long panic attack, and I want it to be over. I have a massive amount of respect for people who work on ambulances. I did my clinical hours on ambulances and hated every second of the experience. It's hard to take care of sick people while you're being flung all over the back of a moving vehicle. I don't know how anyone does it. I'm thankful for Dramamine. I was popping those things like Skittles.

All of my finals are happening during the first 10 days of December. I am stress.





3. I'm thankful I'm nearly free



December 1st is the last day of my work season. Park rangers are like reverse teachers. Instead of getting the summer off, we get the snowy months off because most of the park becomes inaccessible. There's too much snow! I'm thankful for snow. I'm beyond excited to not wake up at 3AM and go to work.

I might be spending my last day cleaning up trash and dog poop in the park. I'm not mad. There are worse jobs. (I'm looking at you, ambulances.)





4. I'm thankful for Advil



I injured my shoulder, but I don't know how. Does that mean I'm old? My job requires me to lift heavy objects. School requires me to lift heavy people. Ambulances are a unique form of torture. I'm not a good EMT, and there are a million ways I could have hurt myself, so we'll need Scooby Doo to solve this mystery.

I didn't realize that shoulders are so important. It's hard to use my arm because my shoulder is stuck and barely moves. I can't sleep because I keep accidentally rolling on the painful bits. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to move my neck. It hurts to sit in a chair and type.

I don't know. This bitch better heal herself quickly because we lost our health insurance. I'm not about to pull out a credit card to fix this nonsense. Save me, Advil! I'm relying on you.





5. I'm thankful for everyone who will help me survive the reign of Mango Mussolini




Donald Trump happened. Again. Since I am trapped inside the Fox News Cinematic Universe, I was slightly rattled but not surprised. Everyone in my part of the world is truly, madly, deeply in love with Donald. It's a completely baffling cult.

I feel like Trump gives people permission to be the worst versions of themselves, which is a problem when you work with the public. I (mostly) enjoy my park job because parks are good for my community. I'm going to EMT school because health care is good for my community. I donate stuff to schools and food banks because they're good for my community.

Unfortunately, my community is disappointing. They're vocal about their hatred of "the left," immigrants, transgender people, poor people, teachers, scientists, and anyone who is skeptical about their preferred flavor of Christianity.

Sometimes I have a pity party and wonder why I'm giving so much to people who hate me. It feels like I'm allowing myself to be used.

Then I refocus and get back to work. We have problems to solve.





6. I'm thankful for books



Almost all of my reading time has been devoured by EMT textbooks. I badly want to read something that I don't have to memorize. I keep staring longingly at my TBR shelf. I miss my books! I have so many good ones waiting for me. I'm stoked for my winter reading plans.

I did finish War And Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I've been reading it slowly since the beginning of the year. Maybe I read it too slowly? Or maybe I'm not in the right headspace. I found it extremely tedious. I felt every one of those 1,296 pages.





7. I'm thankful for Pinterest and affiliate links



My financial situation is . . . not ideal right now. I'm making tuition payments every month, and I had to drastically reduce my work hours to make school happen. It has been difficult. I'm not going to lie.

Affiliate links haven't fixed the situation, but they do make it slightly less stressful. I don't remember how much I've talked about affiliate links. Basically, if you click the links on this blog and buy something, then I earn a commission. The things you buy are not more expensive for you. I just make a few pennies from the sale. Literally, it's pennies per sale.

Those pennies have saved me multiple times. I'm extremely grateful to anyone who uses my links or re-pins my pins on Pinterest. (Most of this blog's traffic comes from Pinterest.) You'll never understand how much you've helped me.





8. I'm thankful for future plans



I'm researching how to start a new blog. I've had this one for over ten years and am feeling creatively stifled by Blogger. I'm open to suggestions for how to start over. How are people starting blogs in 2025? Who even does that?





9. I'm thankful for you



Thanks for reading this. It feels great to be blogging again, even if I'm just whining about life and not talking about books.

Where are the book bloggers hanging out nowadays? Threads? Bluesky? I'm not on either of those, but I'll try anything once. Tell me what you're using so I can follow you.







What are you thankful for?







27 comments:

  1. I noticed you were gone! I have been checking your blog daily for new posts, but I also understood that you've been super busy with school and everything else! I hope after finals that you get a bit of downtime for the holidays. Happy Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It’s nice to hear from you again. I was wondering what was going on with you, but I didn’t want to seem intrusive and wasn’t quite sure where the boundaries are with other TTT bloggers.

    Good luck with finals! So sorry to hear about who your next president will be. :(

    My post: https://lydiaschoch.com/top-ten-tuesday-thankful-thanksgiving-freebie/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Welcome back, I did miss you!
    Good luck for your finals!
    Here is my post: https://wordsandpeace.com/2024/11/26/my-top-10-books-for-scifimonth-thanksgiving/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Welcome back! Great post to make a comeback on!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Welcome back! I've been so bad at blogging this year and I really do miss it so I need to figure something out in the New Year. I think I just get burnt out on computer time when I'm using them all day at work. I'm glad EMT school is almost over - that's awesome! I hope you can read lots of fun things over Winter break. :)

    Lauren @ www.shootingstarsmag.net

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good luck with your exams! Your shoulder issue sounds like my (frozen shoulder/rotator cuff tendinitis). You can do exercises to get mobility back (tons on the web though I paid $400 for PT). I still have pain though. You may want to get it checked that it's not a tear (I am hopeful it is not). Good luck starting a new blog!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Welcome back! This is a great comeback post :) I too am thankful for books 💜

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sorry about your shoulder 😣 It might be easier to rebrand this blog than start a new one? Or do you want to leave Blogger? ~Carol @ ReadingLadies

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maybe you should start over on WordPress? It's easier for traffic and not that hard to juggle. However, bookblogs are becoming more and more niche, many people don't want to read long posts anymore. They just want shortform content on social media.

    My TTT: https://laurieisreading.com/2024/11/26/top-ten-tuesday-books-i-cant-believe-i-havent-read/

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm using Facebook. I'm still noticeably accompanied by librarians and some midlife bloggers, but not so much book bloggers. I hope that the time off gives you time to heal and recover.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Welcome back to blogging! Sounds like you have had a very interesting time since you've been gone. I'm sorry about your shoulder. I had frozen shoulder for several years and it was miserable. Nothing really helped it feel better. Then, it just went away on its own. So strange. And *sigh*, the election results are so very disappointing. I don't even know what to say about it...ugh.

    Thank goodness we have books to help calm us and let us escape from the pain and ugliness of life.

    Happy TTT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not even in the States, and I'm dismayed with the election results. A few people at work try to get me to talk about them but I refuse saying I need to keep my blood pressure in check. As for your shoulder, try Aleve instead of Advil and heat to help loosen the muscles. Even a good hot shower helps. Feel better soon!

      Pam @ Read! Bake! Create!
      https://readbakecreate.com/bookish-gift-ideas-from-etsy-sellers/

      Delete
  12. My son wants to be a paramedic (he's 16 atm), he's been set on it for years but it honestly sounds like such a difficult and in many cases, thankless job. They're subject to a lot of hostile behaviour here sometimes from the people they're trying to help.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Welcome back! I can identify with a few things on your list, particularly books and being grateful for ambulances, since I've had my life saved by EMTs more than once. I hope you have a really enjoyable break from work, and get to read some books for fun soon. I've struggled with shoulder problems, and the most important thing is to stretch it so I don't develop frozen shoulder again. They're awful to deal with, and I hope you get better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I admit, it is hard to be thankful after the elections, but I'm thankful that my state re-elected Tim Kaine as Senator. I hope you make it through finals and your shoulder heals. Paramedics are wonderful people, as I have seen many times when I was a volunteer firefighter. As for reading, my # of books are way down this year thanks to having read Augustine's "The City of God." Instead of counting it as one book, I should count it as 22 books (after all, it's divided into 22 books of 50+ pages each). I haven't read "War and Peace," as my main Russian novelist has been Dostoevsky :) Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I noticed you were gone, and I'm glad you're back! I'm so sorry about your stress -- and your shoulder. Sounds like bursitis to me. You will need to keep moving and stretching it gently so you don't end up with a frozen shoulder. I would recommend PT, but without health insurance, that can be pretty expensive. You can probably find YouTube videos to coach you through it, though. Just make sure they are from someone who is a licensed physical therapist.

    I am beyond grateful for EMTs and ambulances. I have SVT*, which has resulted in the need to call 911 a number of times over the last 25 years. All the EMTs I've dealt with have been unfailingly kind and reassuring, and I'm so thankful for their care and expertise. I know that if you are called upon to act as an EMT in the park or elsewhere, you will do a great job. * (Or hopefully, had. I had an ablation a couple of weeks ago, which we hope has fixed it for good.)

    As for the election results, I think a lot of us are anxious and grieving. I know it's hard to be surrounded by Trump's supporters; my husband and I are in a very red county. (Or at least it seems so, although I was pleasantly surprised to see a few Harris-Walz signs around before the election.) I think the Trump supporters may be in for a bit of a shock when they begin to see the impact of his policies on their pocketbooks and their day-to-day lives. I hope that we can all pull together through the tough times that may be ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Park rangers sounds like a fun but hard work, enjoy your vacations

    ReplyDelete
  17. Welcome back! It sounds like you have a lot going on.

    Remember to be kind yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I definitely noticed your absence and am glad to have read this post and gotten caught up on things. Wow you've got a lot going on (and a lot that you don't seem to love. Are you thinking about that? I don't know you well enough to say this, perhaps, but I do care).

    You sound like you have frozen shoulder. I've had it. 3 times. It's horrible. Physical therapy helps as does reducing stress. I hope that after this weekend you can start to relax, read for pleasure, enjoy more sleep and time with family and friends.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I did miss you and every time I added my link to ttt, i would do a 'aj' search.. hope things get better soon for you. and so glad we have the ttt community to get us through what is to come ..

    ReplyDelete
  20. I did something (I don't know what) in yoga class a few years ago, and I had frozen shoulder. I looked it up on the internet (I don't like to go to doctors), and it was suggested that I try yoga to relieve the symptoms. Hmmm. I continued to do yoga, and it cleared up in about a year. (I don't know if this story is helpful, but it is true.)

    You beautifully expressed exactly how I feel about the world now. I am surrounded by people who are in love with an awful and stupid person, and, apparently, these people are also awful and stupid. Nevertheless, I love them. Perplexing.

    Substack seems to be a place that several people have gone to post. I am staying here, on Blogger, awaiting The End which feels like it is only months away.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow, you have been very busy. I wish you luck on your finals. I am Canadian, but I am also very confused on how those results happened. I hope everything doesn't fall apart. I agree, he has given people permission to be terrible to others. So sad. Hang in there my US friends.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your life sounds like a bit of a roller coaster ride at the moment. I hope your shoulder sorts itself out. Every time I hear about how much healthcare costs in the USA I am grateful for the NHS here in the UK.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Jamie (jannghi.blogpsot.com): I agree with the Mango Mussolini nickname. I'm not looking forward the next four years. It feels like we are stepping back in time :(

    ReplyDelete
  24. Welcome back! I definitely understand feeling overwhelmed, especially when you live such a busy life. I never thought to be thankful for Advil or medication in general, but now that you've mentioned it, they are things to be thankful for :)

    If you'd like to visit, here's my TTT: https://thebooklorefairy.blogspot.com/2024/11/top-ten-tuesday-books-i-am-glad-i-read.html

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hello, glad to see you! Good luck on the finals, you got this! Also I am so sorry about your injury, and the insurance issue. As for the Orange Problem, these people are going to realize how foolish they were VERY quickly- it just sucks that we're going down with them. Sigh. I hope for better days ahead for us all but... who even knows. Glad work is over for now for you though! (Also HOW the heck do you make money!?! I literally have made $10 in 11 years of throwing links in posts, what am I doing wrong!?)

    ReplyDelete