Review: After Zero by Christina Collins

After Zero by Christina Collins

Genre: Middlegrade contemporary

Pages: 256

Publication date: September 2018

Content warning: Bullying, mental illness, death, family secrets, hunting
Available at: Amazon | Book Depository
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Elise carries a notebook full of tallies, each page marking a day spent at her new public school, each stroke of her pencil marking a word spoken. A word that can't be taken back. Five tally marks isn't so bad. Two is pretty good. But zero? Zero is perfect. Zero means no wrong answers called out in class, no secrets accidentally spilled, no conversations to agonize over at night when sleep is far away.

But now months have passed, and Elise isn't sure she could speak even if she wanted to―not to keep her only friend, Mel, from drifting further away―or to ask if anyone else has seen her English teacher's stuffed raven come to life. Then, the discovery of a shocking family secret helps Elise realize that her silence might just be the key to unlocking everything she's ever hoped for.

You know those people on Twitter who are always yammering about how they want to “see themselves” in books? Well, this novel confirmed that I’m definitely not one of those people. Just like the main character, I had selective mutism as a child. I’ve never seen it portrayed accurately in any kind of media before. Reading about it mostly reminded me of how miserable I was. I think I’d prefer to leave the unpleasant stuff in my real life, thank you very much.

I can confirm that the author did her research. This is an accurate portrayal of mutism. My experience with it was pretty much exactly the same as Elise’s.

“It’s amazing how few words a person can get by with.” – After Zero

After Zero is a story about secrets. Elise is afraid to tell anyone that she struggles to speak and that she occasionally sees odd things—like her teacher’s stuffed raven coming to life. Elise’s mother also has secrets. She keeps her daughter isolated for reasons that Elise does not understand. Until recently, Elise was not allowed to go to school or attend parties. Her mother sometimes disappears for days. There are rooms in Elise’s own house where her mother doesn’t allow her to go. When Elise stumbles across a box of photos and children’s toys, she discovers that her mother may have a troubling past.

Why does this book not get more hype? It’s really good! It’s well-researched, beautifully written, and full of vivid imagery. I love the magical/fantasy elements. Since the story is told from Elise’s perspective, the reader is never sure if something is really happening, or if the character just thinks it’s happening. The plot isn’t action-packed, but there are plenty of twists to keep you guessing.

Elise suffers through some heartbreaking problems. Her issues are explored realistically and in-depth, but they’re not overwhelming. It’s not a depressing story. Despite her circumstances and mental health issues, Elise manages to make friends.

This is the kind of book that needs to be required reading in schools. Elise has to deal with teachers and classmates who don’t understand her illness and think she’s being deliberately difficult. She can’t advocate for herself easily because she can’t speak. Books like this one promote empathy and patience. The world could use more of those things. I think most quiet, lonely children will be able to relate to Elise.

“It all comes down to the first thing you think of when you wake up. That first image or idea before the filtering of conscious thought takes over, while you’re still in between. Whatever you think of, that’s the reason you get up in the first place. That’s the reason you get out of bed, into your clothes, into your shoes, and out the door.” – After Zero

I really don’t have any complaints about this book. If you like the magical elements in your stories to be fully explained, you might be disappointed. The weirdness didn’t bother me, though. It keeps things interesting and fits Elise’s character.

This is one of my favorite books of 2019 (so far). If you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for?

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