Tag: My Perfect Book

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to steal elements from your favorite books and mash them together to create one epically awesome book? That’s what this tag is about. Today, I’m the Dr. Frankenstein of literature. I’m going to cut pieces (body parts?) from different novels and stitch them together to create my perfect novel. It’s going to be . . . interesting. This tag was created by Sofii @ A Book. A Thought. Okay, let’s butcher some books.

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What would my perfect book look like?

1. The perfect genre?

My perfect book would be a small-scale dystopia. I don’t care about wars or overthrowing the government. I like reading about small things, like regular citizens living their lives. I’d want a dystopia like The Long Walk by Stephen King. The main character isn’t plotting a revolution. He’s just trying not to get shot.

2. The perfect setting?

Definitely a small, isolated town. A place where everybody knows each other’s business, and help might be far away. I’m thinking The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah. That’s set in rural Alaska. The neighbors and the wilderness are both very good at keeping secrets.

3. The perfect main character?

I prefer my book characters to be a bit . . . evil. I like reading about highly logical geniuses who don’t always use their mental abilities for good. My favorite evil genius is Crake from Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake. He has a dark sense of humor, an icy personality, and an unsettling habit of inventing things that could destroy the world.

4. The perfect best friend?

My book is sounding depressing, so we need a character who will liven it up. How about Monty from The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee. He’s amusingly reckless. He wants to have fun and doesn’t care about society’s silly customs. Crake would probably hate his complete lack of work ethic, but at least my perfect book would be freakin’ hilarious.

5. The perfect love interest?

Do I really need to give my evil protagonist a love interest? I don’t know if he deserves one. To survive my protagonist, the love interest would have to be strong-willed, confident, cunning, and resilient. I think the only fictional person who’s up to the task is Evelyn Hugo from The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Evelyn doesn’t put up with anybody’s nonsense. She knows what she wants, and she’ll go after it ruthlessly.

6. The perfect villain?

Well, this is awkward. I chose a villain for my protagonist. Um, I guess my antagonist needs to be a supervillain? It needs to be someone whose pool of evil has no bottom. Every time you think they’ve done the most twisted thing ever, they take it to a new level. I’m going to choose Ramsay Bolton from A Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin. I haven’t read all of the books, but on the TV show, he was constantly freaking me out with his awful behavior. I had nightmares about this character!

7. The perfect family?

The best family is one that the characters create for themselves. I love the found family / band of brothers trope. In my perfect book, the characters would be less “family” and more “murder cult.” Donna Tartt’s The Secret History has an excellent murderous found family. They’re all selfish, and pretentious, and awful, and fascinating to read about.

8. The perfect pet?

Okay, none of the characters in my book should have a pet. It probably would not end well for the pet. But, I guess I should let Ramsay Bolton keep his hunting dogs. They’re kind of important.

9. The perfect plot twist?

How am I supposed to answer this? If I steal a plot twist from a book, then I’ll have to tell you about the twist, and I’ll spoil the book for everybody. Rude. I guess I’ll be very vague. I love it when characters aren’t who you expect them to be. Their motives are murky. A villain might turn out to be a hero. Or a hero might be a villain in disguise. The Harry Potter series by JK Rowling does this kind of plot twist often.

10. The perfect trope?

Creepy woods! I don’t need any supernatural occurrences, but I like mysterious forests where anything can happen. For my perfect book, I’d steal the spooky swamp from Karen Russell’s Swamplandia! It’s full of abandoned buildings and dangerous creatures. A lot of weirdness happens in that swamp.

11. The perfect cover?

Something simple but bold. I love the design of VE Schwab’s books. They’re eye-catching. I like that they’re colorful, but they still let the reader know that the book’s insides are dark.

12. The perfect ending?

Another question I can’t answer! How am I supposed to explain an ending without spoiling a book for everybody? Okay, since my characters are mostly evil, the ending will probably involve a few twists and a few deaths. I love endings that change the way the reader sees the events in the novel. One of my all-time-favorite endings is Yann Martel’s Life of Pie. I read that book when I was a teenager. I still vividly remember how it ended. Most mind-blowing ending ever. I was shocked, people!

So, that’s my perfect book. Would you read it?

(I’m guessing no?)

Do you want to do this tag? Consider yourself tagged.