Review: American Housewife: Stories – Helen Ellis

American Housewife: Stories – Helen Ellis

Meet the women of American Housewife: they wear lipstick, pearls, and sunscreen, even when it's cloudy. They casserole. They pinwheel. They pump the salad spinner like it's a CPR dummy. And then they kill a party crasher, carefully stepping around the body to pull cookies out of the oven. These twelve irresistible stories take us from a haunted prewar Manhattan apartment building to the set of a rigged reality television show, from the unique initiation ritual of a book club to the getaway car of a pageant princess on the lam, from the gallery opening of a tinfoil artist to the fitting room of a legendary lingerie shop.

Review: These twelve darkly humorous stories focus on a segment of society that is often overlooked: the housewife. The women in these tales are Stepford Wives on the outside, but inside, they have a few secrets. Between planning parties and cooking dinner, they kill their neighbors and kidnap beauty pageant contestants.

“Sugar, nobody’s perfect. And when ladies try to be perfect, their periods stop.” – American Housewife

These are the stories that stayed in my mind:

“What I Do All Day” is a list-style flash fiction piece about what housewives do. I’m not a housewife, but I laughed out loud at this story. It’s cleverly written. Actually, all the flash fiction in this collection is well-written. This one is just my favorite.

“I cry because I don’t have the upper-arm strength to flatiron my hair.” – American Housewife

In “Dumpster Diving with the Stars,” regular people team up with celebrities on a dumpster-diving reality show. Who can find the best treasures? This story is too long and got a bit boring, but it also made me laugh. I’m a reality TV junkie, so the satire resonated with me. 

Two wealthy neighbors exchange a series of heated emails in “The Wainscoting War.” One neighbor wants to redecorate the shared hallway between their apartments. The other doesn’t. The argument quickly turns deadly.

“The only thing with less character than Chardonnay is wainscoting.” – American Housewife

In “The Fitter,” a woman marries a man with an unusual talent. He can find the perfect bra for any woman just by looking at her. His wife jealously guards him from the herd of other women who want to snatch him away from her.

“Just because you can fit into something tight doesn't mean that you belong in it.” – American Housewife

“My Novel is Brought to You by the Good People at Tampax” features an author who didn’t read the fine print of her book contract. I really hope books never have corporate sponsors. This story is not a thing that needs to happen in the real world.

Humor and satire books are hard to review because they don’t work for everyone. If your sense of humor jives with this collection, you’ll probably love it. If it doesn’t, you’ll probably be left baffled. Most of the stories are very short. The characters aren’t hugely complicated, and there isn’t much action. It’s really all about the humor and social commentary.

Even though the plots are way over-the-top, I like what the collection says about housewives. Being a housewife is difficult. It’s stressful. There’s a whole housewife subculture that many people don’t even realize exists. These stories are relatable because there’s truth under all the ridiculousness.

I like that so many of the characters are readers or writers. I felt like I got more out of the stories because I’m a rabid reader. I understood a lot of the references and found them hilarious.

“YA is about angst. Will I get that boy to like me? Will I lose the weight? Will I turn into a vampire if he just gives me a hickey? I’m an orphan! I’m a mind reader! I’m biracial! I’m gay! When I get out of high school, I’ll move to New York City, where I’ll find others like me, and then I’ll be happy and I will have it all: a career, a family, good teeth, and takeout Chinese.” – American Housewife

For me, this collection works. The author is a talented writer, and I can appreciate the humor. I do see how the stories would be hit-or-miss for other readers, though. 

Z is for “Zzzzz (Books That Kept Me Up Past Bedtime)”

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Every day in April, I’ll be sharing a short bookish memory with you. 

I love to sleep. It’s one of my favorite hobbies. But, sometimes, I get so immersed in a book that I stay up way too late. I’ll start reading at 8pm, and the next time I look at the clock, it’s midnight. Oops. The books that keep me awake are usually books about interesting topics or stories with a lot of plot twists. Here are five recent reads that kept me up past bedtime.

Sleep-Stealing Books

Sleeping Giants – Sylvain Neuvel

A girl named Rose is riding her new bike near her home in Deadwood, South Dakota, when she falls through the earth. She wakes up at the bottom of a square hole, its walls glowing with intricate carvings. But the firemen who come to save her peer down upon something even stranger: a little girl in the palm of a giant metal hand. 

Seventeen years later, the mystery of the bizarre artifact remains unsolved—its origins, architects, and purpose unknown. Its carbon dating defies belief; military reports are redacted; theories are floated, then rejected. 

But some can never stop searching for answers. 

Rose Franklin is now a highly trained physicist leading a top secret team to crack the hand’s code. Along with her colleagues, she is being interviewed by a nameless interrogator whose power and purview are as enigmatic as the provenance of the relic. What’s clear is that Rose and her compatriots are on the edge of unraveling history’s most perplexing discovery—and figuring out what it portends for humanity. But once the pieces of the puzzle are in place, will the result prove to be an instrument of lasting peace or a weapon of mass destruction?

Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology – Leah Remini

Leah Remini has never been the type to hold her tongue. That willingness to speak her mind, stand her ground, and rattle the occasional cage has enabled this tough-talking girl from Brooklyn to forge an enduring and successful career in Hollywood. But being a troublemaker has come at a cost. 

That was never more evident than in 2013, when Remini loudly and publicly broke with the Church of Scientology. Now, in this frank, funny, poignant memoir, the former King of Queens star opens up about that experience for the first time, revealing the in-depth details of her painful split with the church and its controversial practices. 

Indoctrinated into the church as a child while living with her mother and sister in New York, Remini eventually moved to Los Angeles, where her dreams of becoming an actress and advancing Scientology's causes grew increasingly intertwined. As an adult, she found the success she'd worked so hard for, and with it a prominent place in the hierarchy of celebrity Scientologists alongside people such as Tom Cruise, Scientology's most high-profile adherent. Remini spent time directly with Cruise and was included among the guests at his 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes. 

But when she began to raise questions about some of the church's actions, she found herself a target. In the end, she was declared by the church to be a threat to their organization and therefore a "Suppressive Person," and as a result, all of her fellow parishioners—including members of her own family—were told to disconnect from her. Forever.

The Book of Strange New Things – Michel Faber

It begins with Peter, a devoted man of faith, as he is called to the mission of a lifetime, one that takes him galaxies away from his wife, Bea. Peter becomes immersed in the mysteries of an astonishing new environment, overseen by an enigmatic corporation known only as USIC. His work introduces him to a seemingly friendly native population struggling with a dangerous illness and hungry for Peter’s teachings—his Bible is their “book of strange new things.” But Peter is rattled when Bea’s letters from home become increasingly desperate: typhoons and earthquakes are devastating whole countries, and governments are crumbling. Bea’s faith, once the guiding light of their lives, begins to falter. 

Suddenly, a separation measured by an otherworldly distance, and defined both by one newly discovered world and another in a state of collapse, is threatened by an ever-widening gulf that is much less quantifiable. While Peter is reconciling the needs of his congregation with the desires of his strange employer, Bea is struggling for survival.  

Between Shades of Gray – Ruta Sepetys

It's 1941 and fifteen-year-old artist Lina Vilkas is on Stalin's extermination list. Deported to a prison camp in Siberia, Lina fights for her life, fearless, risking everything to save her family. It's a long and harrowing journey and it is only their incredible strength, love, and hope that pull Lina and her family through each day. But will love be enough to keep them alive?

Revolver – Marcus Sedgwick

In an isolated cabin, fourteen-year-old Sig is alone with a corpse: his father, who has fallen through the ice and frozen to death only hours earlier. Then comes a stranger claiming that Sig’s father owes him a share of a horde of stolen gold. Sig’s only protection is a loaded Colt revolver hidden in the cabin’s storeroom. The question is, will Sig use the gun, and why?

What’s the last book that kept you up past bedtime?

Y is for “You’ll Rot Your Brain”

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Every day in April (except Sundays), I’ll be sharing a short bookish memory with you. 

Did your parents ever tell you that your brain would rot if you watched too much TV? My parents did. The threat of brain-rot must not have deterred me because I watched more Kenan & Kel than any normal child should.

Since we’re near the end of this blogging challenge, and I’ve run out of memories, we’re going to talk about TV, movies, and squirrelyness. (That last thing is totally a word, despite what Microsoft Word claims.)

I love to read. I can happily lie in bed and read for several hours without getting bored. But, I have a really hard time watching TV or movies. My mind starts wandering; I get anxious; my legs get restless; I suddenly crave nachos. My brain is thinking about everything except the show/movie. The only time I can watch TV is when I’m multitasking. Right now, I’m watching Chopped and writing this blog post. Earlier today, I watched My 600-Pound Life while running on the treadmill. I have no problem watching TV while doing something else, but I’m incapable of sitting still and watching a show.

I’m hopeless with movies. Films usually have fairly complex plots, so if I multitask while watching a movie, I lose track of the plot. Then there’s no point in watching the movie. It’s rare that I can sit through a whole film without feeling squirrely.

None of this makes sense to me. What’s the difference between a book, a movie, and a TV show? Why can I sit still for a book but not a movie?

Did I somehow internalize my parents’ warning that TV rots brains?

Maybe I prefer books because they require more concentration? I know a lot about books. When I read, I’m not just enjoying the story. I’m analyzing every choice the author makes. I can’t do that with TV and movies because I’m clueless. I don’t know anything about acting or cinematography. (I didn’t even know how to spell cinematography until right now.) Maybe I’d have more appreciation for TV and movies if I knew what I was looking at?

I have slightly better luck with movies and shows that are based on books. I like Game of Thrones and the Harry Potter films. Still, I prefer reading to watching.

So, Internet doctors, am I normal? Does anyone else love to read but lack the patience to sit through a movie? What are your favorite movies and TV shows? 

X is for “Xenophobia (And Books To Combat It)”

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Every day in April (except Sundays), I’ll be sharing a short bookish memory with you. 

X? What am I supposed to do with X? Normal English words don’t start with X. X is for weird, pretentious, hard-to-pronounce words.

I had nothing for X. Luckily, way back in the planning stages of this challenge, Elliptical Man suggested “Xenophobia.” So, let’s do it. Books to combat xenophobia.

Xenophobia is kind of a huge topic. It’s hard to break it down into something blog-post-sized. I decided to focus on fear of refugees because that’s what I’m seeing in the US right now. In my opinion, education is the best way to combat fear, so I’m going to show you two books about refugees I’ve read and four books on my to-be-read list.

Books I’ve Read

What is the What – Dave Eggers

In a heartrending and astonishing novel, Eggers illuminates the history of the civil war in Sudan through the eyes of Valentino Achak Deng, a refugee now living in the United States. We follow his life as he's driven from his home as a boy and walks, with thousands of orphans, to Ethiopia, where he finds safety—for a time. Valentino's travels, truly Biblical in scope, bring him in contact with government soldiers, janjaweed-like militias, liberation rebels, hyenas and lions, disease and starvation—and a string of unexpected romances. 

Ultimately, Valentino finds safety in Kenya and, just after the millennium, is finally resettled in the United States, from where this novel is narrated. In this book, written with expansive humanity and surprising humor, we come to understand the nature of the conflicts in Sudan, the refugee experience in America, the dreams of the Dinka people, and the challenge one indomitable man faces in a world collapsing around him.

This is a must-read if you want to understand what happened in Sudan, but it’s not an easy read. Parts of it are brutal. Other parts are slow and dense. Also, it’s only a semi-biography, so the author fictionalizes parts of Valentino Achak Deng’s life. The publisher classifies the book as a novel. I didn’t love What is the What, but I’ll always remember it. I’ve recommended it to a lot of people who are interested in the refugee crisis.

The Optician of Lampedusa – Emma-Jane Kirby

The only optician on the island of Lampedusa in the Mediterranean is an ordinary man in his fifties, who used to be indifferent to the fate of the thousands of refugees landing on the coast of the Italian island. One day in the fall of 2013, the unimaginable scale of the tragedy became clear to him, and it changed him forever: as he was out boating with some friends, he encountered hundreds of men, women and children drowning in the aftermath of a shipwreck. The Optician and his seven friends managed to save 47 people (his boat was designed to hold ten people). All the others died. This is a poignant and unforgettable account about the awakening of conscience: more than that, it brings home the reality of an ongoing refugee crisis that has resulted in one of the most massive migrations in human history.

This is one of the most enlightening books I’ve read in 2017. The author is a journalist who interviewed the optician. The book is short (under 200 pages), but it packs a punch. The story shows that we have a tendency to ignore the world’s problems until they show up on our doorstep. By that time, it might be too late to solve the problem. 

Books On My To-Be-Read List

Crossing the Sea: With Syrians on the Exodus to Europe – Wolfgang Bauer

Award-winning journalist Wolfgang Bauer and photographer Stanislav Krupař were the first undercover reporters to document the journey of Syrian refugees from Egypt to Europe. Posing as English teachers in 2014, they were direct witnesses to the brutality of smuggler gangs, the processes of detainment and deportation, the dangers of sea-crossing on rickety boats, and the final furtive journey through Europe. Combining their own travels with other eyewitness accounts in the first book of reportage of its kind, Crossing the Sea brings to life both the systemic problems and the individual faces behind the crisis, and is a passionate appeal for more humanitarian refugee policies.

The Morning They Came for Us: Dispatches from Syria – Janine di Giovanni

In May of 2012, Janine di Giovanni traveled to Syria. It would mark the beginning of a long relationship with the country, starting with her coverage of the peaceful uprising and continuing as the situation quickly turned into one of the most brutal internecine conflicts in recent history. Drawn to the stories of the ordinary people caught up in the conflict, Syria came to consume her every moment, her every emotion. Speaking to those directly involved in the war, di Giovanni relays here the personal stories of rebel fighters thrown in jail at the least provocation, of children and families forced to watch loved ones taken and killed by regime forces with dubious justifications, and the stories of the elite holding pool parties in Damascus hotels trying to deny the human consequences of the nearby shelling. Delivered with passion, fearlessness, and sensitivity, The Morning They Came For Us is an unflinching account of a nation on the brink of disintegration, charting an apocalyptic but at times tender story of life in a jihadist war and an unforgettable testament to human resilience in the face of devastating, unimaginable horrors.

The Raqqa Diaries: Escape From Islamic State – Samer

The Raqqa Diaries began as a series of short broadcasts on Radio 4’s 'Today' Programme. Now one of the most isolated and fear ridden cities on earth, no-one is allowed to speak to western journalists or leave Raqqa, without IS’s permission. Those caught breaking the rules face death by beheading. 

Despite this, Mike Thomson, with the help of BBC’s Arabic Service, found a young man who is willing to risk his life to tell the world what is happening in his city. Part of a small anti-IS activist group, the diaries were written, encrypted and sent to a third country before being translated. 

The diarist’s father is killed and mother badly injured during an air strike, he is sentenced to 40 lashes for speaking out against a beheading, he sees a woman stoned to death. They show how every aspect of life is impacted – from the spiralling costs of food to dictating the acceptable length of trousers. 

At one point, the sale of televisions is banned. As Samer says, 'it seems it’s not enough to stop us talking to the outside world, now we can’t even look at it.’ Having seen friends and relatives butchered, his community’s life shattered and the local economy ruined by these hate-fuelled extremists, Samer believes he’s fighting back by telling the world what is happening to his beloved city.

The Refugees – Viet Thanh Nguyen

In The Refugees, Viet Thanh Nguyen gives voice to lives led between two worlds, the adopted homeland and the country of birth. From a young Vietnamese refugee who suffers profound culture shock when he comes to live with two gay men in San Francisco, to a woman whose husband is suffering from dementia and starts to confuse her for a former lover, to a girl living in Ho Chi Minh City whose older half-sister comes back from America having seemingly accomplished everything she never will, the stories are a captivating testament to the dreams and hardships of immigration. 

Do you know any books about refugees that I should add to my list? I’m especially interested in books written by the refugees themselves. Most of the refugee books on my to-be-read list are written by journalists.