I'm Not Dead—I Just Feel Like I Am

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Hello.

It's been over a month since we last spoke. I had to take an unexpected blogging break because work is complete madness during the summer. It has hopefully calmed down now. Also, Brooklyn is back in school. She started second grade this month. Bizarrely, she's excited about school. I was never excited about school as a kid. It's probably because Brooklyn is a hardcore extrovert and always needs company. Or an audience.

What else has been happening? I've been learning how to live with a chronic illness. I got trapped in a cycle of work -> sleep -> order takeout -> sleep -> home chores -> sleep -> apply for new jobs -> sleep. Right now, the limits of sleep do not exist. I can sleep all day and still be exhausted. I'm working on it.

Also, since my illness is genetic, I sold my DNA to science for $80. I'm not sure how to feel about this. Maybe the scientific studies will help future people. Or, maybe scientists will look at my DNA and say, "No more of these." Then they'll use it for eugenics. I apologize if I accidentally killed millions of future people because I needed $80. I promise I had good intentions.

What else? Oh, I impulsively decided to sell or donate almost everything I own because dusting fills me with rage. I hate dust. It's gross, and I don't want to deal with it. I reduced my bookshelves from 7 to 2. I emptied the majority of my drawers. The stuff in my closet got sold or put into plastic storage bins. I never want to dust again, which isn't a realistic goal, but I can try.

I haven't been reading very much because it takes me forever to finish a book. I did read two excellent ones, though.

The first was What Was She Thinking?: Notes On A Scandal by Zoë Heller. It's about two former teachers, Barbara and Sheba. Barbara is writing a book about Sheba's affair with a teenage student. I wasn't sure I'd like a novel about a pedophile because yuck, but I think the author handled the subject brilliantly. Every character is an awful human. It's a story about obsession, desperation, control, and loneliness.

Barbara is a complicated narrator. She's lonely, which makes her relatable, but her reaction to loneliness is unusual. She worms her way into Sheba's life and tries to make herself a main character in Sheba's story. It's uncomfortable to read, but you can't look away. It's like a slow-motion train wreck. You know this story is going to end badly for everybody.

Read this book if you like complex characters.

The other excellent book is You Like It Darker by Stephen King. It's a collection of horror stories. I love it because most of the stories are pretty traditional horror tales. There are monsters and murders and everything you'd expect from horror. It's straight up, no frills dark.

Like all of Stephen King's books, this one could have been shorter. The man needs a ruthless editor. That being said, I enjoyed every single one of these stories. That's rare with short story collections. Usually there are a few I skim.

I love that King was inspired by other horror writers. As someone who has read a lot of spooky stuff, it was fun to read King's twist on older stories. I was especially excited for "On Slide Inn Road" because I quickly figured out it was inspired by Flannery O'Connor's "A Good Man Is Hard To Find," which is one of my favorite horror stories ever. It was cool to see Stephen King's reinterpretation of it.

So, my lifelong quest to read every Stephen King book continues. Bring on the next one!

What else has been happening in my life? I'm still extremely uninspired to blog. I don't want to quit. I think I just need a new challenge. Everything I write feels stale because I've been doing the same thing for 13 years.

Maybe I'll try blogging about something that isn't books? Things that aren't books exist, right?

That's all I've got. What's been happening in your life?